Friday, May 27, 2005

I wish my addictions made me lose weight like Lindsay Lohan's do...

I've gone a few rounds with a number of addictive substances over the years, but rarely have any of them been able to truly grab hold. In fact, I've been pretty lucky - while Diet Coke has its talons firmly entrenched, no illicit drug I ever experimented with was able to do the same. And while I've proven to myself drinking doesn't have a complete grip, I'm not able to say the same when it comes to - nerd alert - the Internet.

The latest monkey on my back, though, is particularly evil. The shakes haven't appeared yet, but I swear I can feel little tremors whenever I open one of those little perforated envelopes.

Netflix has me in its grasp.

Does anybody else look at Netflix as homework? I pay $17.99 a month to rent four DVDs at a time, and the sooner I mail them back, the sooner I get a new one. It's literally a never-ending cycle, and something that creates completely unnecessary stress.

I swear to God, my "to-do list" this weekend consists of: mow lawn, clean kitchen, vacuum room, watch "Heartbreak Ridge," complete Mercer homework.

Should I really be scheduling DVD-watching as a chore? That's what it has become, though. Watching movies at home is certainly preferable to the increasingly annoying theater experience, but the joy has been removed when I look at it as this thing I have to do.

I have to cope, though. I mean, would I really want to, you know, have a girlfriend and stuff, when I can spend Saturday night at home with a double feature of "Clean and Sober" and "Assault on Precinct 13?"


Jennifer said...

Of course you can schedule DVD watching as a chore! Anything that doesn't have the word "sleep" in it is a chore. Love your blog! :) Jenn
BTW, Lohan is a crackhead, you don't want to be like that. ;)

DAve said...

Eh, not like I have much recent experience in the matter, but couldn't you like, y'know, watch a DVD with a girl? You could share a bucket of popcorn, cuddle up under a warm blanket, and cop a feel every now and then.

Lydia said...

I almost agree with everything Dave wrote and I agree with Jennifer. I for one always schedule watching tv or movies as a chore, but at least I enjoy this chore.

ACG said...

I agree with everything Dave wrote. Who doesn't like getting a feel copped every once in a while? Reminds me that I'm alive, and it gives me the opportunity to practice my indignant glare.