Friday, June 17, 2005

Chris Klein's stream of consciousness...



Five years with that bitch...She wore my ring, now she's wearing his...I should have been in "American Wedding"...Need to rewind the "Oprah" tape and start it again...I mean, what the fuck? I had to suffer through "First Daughter" and "Abandon," he goes to the premiere of "Batman"...I wish I could go to the premiere of "Batman"...Fuck, the Jack Daniels is almost empty...I mean, she's already fucking engaged?...I wish Jason Biggs would return my calls...Where's the fucking remote?...I mean, I sat through "The Gift" too, which was only good because she got naked, and that was something I used to see all the time...I wish I still saw that all the time...What does Tom Cruise have that I don't?...Son of a bitch, the "Batman" commercial is playing again...Where's Julio with my 8-ball?...I wish Seann William Scott would return my calls...Is MGM ever going to call about "Rollerball 2?"...Son of a bitch, the "War of the Worlds" commercial is playing again...I should watch "Election" - those were the days, man...Maybe "Celebrity Poker Showdown" will call...Ebert gave "Batman" thumbs up...Fuck Ebert...I wish Eugene Levy would return my calls...Is it possible to slit my wrists with US Weekly?...

5 comments:

Lydia said...

Yeah that is probably how he is feeling right now. I do honestly feel sorry for him. Usually I don't feel sorry for stars but him I do. The were together for a long time. I would feel like crap too.

Riley said...

Funny.

BATMAN BEGINS is fantastic, btw.

Alex said...

"If only I had a big summer movie coming out... then I could have a ridiculously transparent fake relationship too!!"

Josh said...

I don't think he'll ever have to worry about big summer movies again.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Oz, it'll be okay - she'll call you when "Tom Terrific" heads over the Michael Jackson's house for some weekend "fun".
- Hartman