Friday, June 10, 2005

Family ties (and binds)

My mother is reading my blog. It’s my own fault, to be honest – I sent her the link. It never occurred to me she would actually look at it, though.

"I love what you’re doing with your website," she tells me. "Your grandmother is loving it too – I’ve sent the link to the whole family!"

My jaw drops, which of course she can’t see being 400 miles away. She hears it, however. "Don’t worry, they don’t care what you write. Even the parts about trying to get laid."

I rack my brain searching for what the hell she is talking about. My sexual history has not yet been documented in the online world, and – oh right, I did make an off-the-cuff, sarcastic remark a couple of weeks ago.

"Oh, your grandmother doesn’t even know what ‘getting laid’ means," she says, once again denying her own mother’s saltiness.

Ok, so after years of acting like a golly-shucks-nice-big-ol'-smile-goody-two-shoes around my family, they're about to get a firm grasp of the hedonistic, self-indulgent jackass their daughter/sister has raised.

Gosh darn it.

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