Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Hot for teacher

Forgive my lack of - well, whatever it is I do here. My summer is over, as I'm now officially a 5th grade teacher. I don't see my first student for almost two weeks, and my classroom has only barely begun to take shape. But they gave me a laptop, so any concerns this might all be an elaborate practical joke have subsided.

This week, I'm sitting through a series of orientation meetings designed by Captain Obvious. You know, a lot of teachers aren't exactly the brightest bulbs out there, but I really don't need to be told I shouldn't physically hit children. Also, anybody dumb enough to download porn onto their work computer - which was told to a big group by an instructor who didn't take her eyes off of me - deserves to be fired. Other things I apparently need to be told not to do: don't wear short shorts, don't handcuff kids to sinks, and don't tell parents their children are "fucking retards."

Seriously, though, I'm not making this up: a lot of your kids' teachers are complete morons, so much so I do think some of these meetings are legitimate. During my grad school career, I have gotten through boring classes only by making fun of my dumber compatriots. At first I thought maybe it was me who was exponentially smarter than the average person, but after the 20th drool puddle I had to step over, I realized it was just my chosen profession.

Anyway, maybe that's just the frustration talking. I've wasted two days at these meetings, and will likely consider tomorrow's 6-hour marathon unworthy as well. So while I'm languishing in the depths of Moronicaville, I will sit back and think of perhaps the funniest thing I have ever seen (not even remotely safe for work, unless you have headphones).

3 comments:

Lydia said...

Josh,
Isn't it sad or perhaps funny, depends on how you look at it, how stupid people really are. How do they survive in this world? I know I'm not the smartest person but compared to most I am a genius.
Lydia
Good luck this year with those 5th graders.

jason said...

I want a credit!

Chip Houston said...

Josh ~
That's awesome! Where are you teaching?