Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Thirtysomething... Well, actually, just thirty

At 12:59 p.m., I will turn 30.

It's nice to remember the exact hour and minute I was born, just so I can stretch my 20s out a couple extra hours. Nobody else is fooled, of course, but it's widely known I am in fact easily fooled.

Thanks to Meghan for her recent comments, assuring me women are more attracted to men in their 30s. And as much as I hope that means I can finally hook up with her, all I think of is when a friend dated a 30-year-old when we were college freshman.

"What are you doing, he's so old!?" I told her.

And despite the fact I had a jealous crush on her, I actually meant it. Thirty was freaking old. Has it been that long since my freshman year? (And yeah, eat me if you feel the need to answer that).

Honestly, I think all 30 means to me is now is I am officially too old to hit on 18 year olds. It was creepy back then, and I grudgingly admit it might be a tad creepy now. And while that may have been technically - or at least morally - true for a few years now, 30 just makes it real. I mean, if a girl was born the year Rain Man came out, it's probably best to stay away.

Well, unless she's real hot, of course.


Doug said...

Take it from someone who's been there, more recently than I really want to admit: If a girl isn't 21 yet, then taking her out is going to be more trouble than it's worth, unless you're on a first-name basis with most of your friendly local bouncers/ID-checking folks. And if that's not enough to convince you, the first time she asks you, "Hey, can you go buy me some beer?" should be the nail-in-the-coffin indication that it's time to move on.

Before you ask, she was 20, so it wasn't like I was pulling some Michael Jackson pedo shit or anything, but still . . . you're not missing as much as you maybe think you are.

Riley said...

She was a girl, Doug. So there's no way you were pulling some Michael Jackson pedo shit.

Riley said...

Happy Birthday, Massey.

Alex said...


30 is definitely officially old, and I know I'm going to have a hard time when my turn rolls around (which is sooner than I'd like to admit). At least your parents had you when they were 30 - that's not sooo hard to swallow. I was six when my parents were 30 and I have many vivid memories from that age. I think reaching the point where you realize "I REMEMBER when my parents were my age" is really creepy.

I need a drink.

DAve said...

What about 22? Is 22 OK?

Kevin said...

Having turned 30 in November, I can honestly say it kinda sucks...but happy belated B-Day anyway.