Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Thirtysomething... Well, actually, just thirty

At 12:59 p.m., I will turn 30.

It's nice to remember the exact hour and minute I was born, just so I can stretch my 20s out a couple extra hours. Nobody else is fooled, of course, but it's widely known I am in fact easily fooled.

Thanks to Meghan for her recent comments, assuring me women are more attracted to men in their 30s. And as much as I hope that means I can finally hook up with her, all I think of is when a friend dated a 30-year-old when we were college freshman.

"What are you doing, he's so old!?" I told her.

And despite the fact I had a jealous crush on her, I actually meant it. Thirty was freaking old. Has it been that long since my freshman year? (And yeah, eat me if you feel the need to answer that).

Honestly, I think all 30 means to me is now is I am officially too old to hit on 18 year olds. It was creepy back then, and I grudgingly admit it might be a tad creepy now. And while that may have been technically - or at least morally - true for a few years now, 30 just makes it real. I mean, if a girl was born the year Rain Man came out, it's probably best to stay away.

Well, unless she's real hot, of course.

6 comments:

Doug said...

Take it from someone who's been there, more recently than I really want to admit: If a girl isn't 21 yet, then taking her out is going to be more trouble than it's worth, unless you're on a first-name basis with most of your friendly local bouncers/ID-checking folks. And if that's not enough to convince you, the first time she asks you, "Hey, can you go buy me some beer?" should be the nail-in-the-coffin indication that it's time to move on.

Before you ask, she was 20, so it wasn't like I was pulling some Michael Jackson pedo shit or anything, but still . . . you're not missing as much as you maybe think you are.

Riley said...

She was a girl, Doug. So there's no way you were pulling some Michael Jackson pedo shit.

Riley said...

Happy Birthday, Massey.

Alex said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

30 is definitely officially old, and I know I'm going to have a hard time when my turn rolls around (which is sooner than I'd like to admit). At least your parents had you when they were 30 - that's not sooo hard to swallow. I was six when my parents were 30 and I have many vivid memories from that age. I think reaching the point where you realize "I REMEMBER when my parents were my age" is really creepy.

I need a drink.

DAve said...

What about 22? Is 22 OK?

Kevin said...

Having turned 30 in November, I can honestly say it kinda sucks...but happy belated B-Day anyway.