Wednesday, April 26, 2006

More draft talk for the none of you who care

ESPN and Scouts, Inc. have done a full seven-round mock draft (ESPN Insiders only), which is even harder to read than my one-rounder. Luckily, you have me, your resident Draft Nerd and Insider subscriber, to do that for you. Granted, this is all conjecture and most likely off-base, but here are some of the interesting bits:

The Falcons's picks
2nd round: Rodrique Wright, DT, Texas.
3rd round: Dee Webb, CB, Florida.
4th round: Rob Sims, G, Ohio State.
5th round: PJ Daniels, RB, Georgia Tech. '
6th round: Cory Rodgers, WR, TCU.
7th round: Scott Ware, S, USC.

Observations: Another Techie will make me vomit. And personal agenda aside as far as possible, I really do think DJ Shockley would be a good fit with the Falcons. Shouldn't a back-up quarterback be of the same mold as the starter? If Vick did go down, not having to change the entire playbook would help. Also, unless the team also wants Vick on the field goal team, it better draft a kicker.

Where the Georgia Bulldogs will go
Leonard Pope, 2nd round (57 overall), Chicago Bears.
Max Jean-Gilles, 3rd round (65), Houston Texans.
DeMario Minter, 3rd round (91), Cincinnati Bengals.
Tim Jennings, 4th round (109), St. Louis Rams.
Greg Blue, 5th round (157), Cincinnati Bengals.
DJ Shockley, 5th round (161), Denver Broncos.
Kedric Golston, 6th round (205), New England Patriots.
Dennis Roland, 7th round (218), Arizona Cardinals.

Observations: Is Cincinnati trying to give Pittsburgh a run for its money as Athens North?

Other names of note
Brodie Croyle, 2nd round (35), New York Jets.
Gerris Wilkinson, 3rd round (75), New England Patriots.
Charlie Whitehurst, 3rd round (85), Kansas City Chiefs.
Devin Hester, 3rd round (88), Chicago Bears.
Devin Aromashodu, 5th round (139), Green Bay Packers.
Gerald Riggs, Jr., 5th round (147), Philadelphia Eagles.
Darrell Hackney, 6th round (193), Cincinnati Bengals (that's for you, Doug).
Marcus Vick, 7th round (210), New Orleans Saints.
Anthony Mix, 7th round (240), Pittsburgh Steelers.
Reuben Houston, 7th round (249), Seattle Seahawks.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The back's draft



Are you ready for some football?!?

Well, more to the point, are you ready for some football - discussion?!? Admittedly, that doesn't sound as exciting, but in these barren months between January and August, we football fans have to take what we can get. And what we get this weekend, my friends, is my favorite day of the spring - with maybe one exception - the National Football League draft.

There are more intriguing storylines in this draft than in any I can remember. Which quarterback will go first? Will Vince Young or Jay Cutler fall into the late teens or - gasp! - twenties? Will the Falcons get back into the first round, and will they use a later pick on DJ Shockley (c'mon, it makes sense)? Where - if anywhere - will Marcus Vick go? Which team will absolutely steal Leonard Pope, a man Chuck Norris calls "sir?" Could LenDale White's fat ass make him fall into the second round?

With four days to go, the following is my prediction of how the first round will go. It's absurdly long, and almost impossible to manuever if you're unfamiliar with the NFL. Plus, as with all mock drafts, it's pretty much pointless because a lot of these picks may be traded before all is said and done. However, at least it'll give you the opportunity to call me an idiot on Monday when these are all wrong.



1) Houston Texans - Reggie Bush, RB, USC. Say it loud: trade down, Texans! Trade down, trade down, trade down! On its list of needs, "running back" is pretty low on Houston's proverbial totem pole. Domanick Davis has been more than serviceable as a featured RB, and his best years may lie ahead - the guy is only 25, after all. Would the Jets trade their two first-rounders, and possibly a later pick, for a shot at Bush (after all, Curtis Martin is 81)? Can a deal be worked out with the Broncos? Lord knows the Colts, 49ers, Vikings and a few other teams need a runner. Of course, we'll never know, as the Texans will bow to fan pressure and take Bush with the first pick of the draft. "I can honestly tell you - honestly - that we have not made a decision as to who we'll draft with the first pick," Texans GM Charley Casserly told SI's Peter King on Sunday. He's lying. Honestly.

2) New Orleans Saints - Mario Williams, DE, N.C. State. The Saints are dying to move down a couple spots, gaining another pick and still getting their shot at Williams or D'Brickashaw Ferguson. It won't happen, because the team's "Maybe we'll grab Matt Leinart" assertions are so retarded even Wonderlic wonderboy Vince Young can see through them. Yeah, you're gonna spend $10 million on Drew Brees, then draft your QB of the future? The Titans and Jets will be more than happy to stay where they are and still get a shot at their guys.

3) Tennessee Titans - Matt Leinart, QB, USC. And the Jets front office flinches with this one - they wanted Broadway Matt. The Titans will have their pick of the Big Three quarterbacks right here, but will go with the safe bet/marquee idol Leinart over Young or hometown boy Jay Cutler (both of which might make a little more sense, actually). It's looking increasingly like Steve McNair will no longer be a Titan, however, and Leinart is probably the most ready to be pushed into immediate duty. (With McNair there, I'm convinced they'd take Young, and use Steve a one-year tutor). By the way, do you think Leinart is kicking himself for not coming out last year? He would have been a clear No. 1 pick, millions of dollars richer, and stayed in California with the 49ers.



4) New York Jets - D'Brickashaw Ferguson, OT, Virginia. How much faith do the Jets have in the reemergence of Chad Pennington? Do they grab Young or Cutler here, or perhaps help Pennington's future injury problems by taking a guy to protect him? If Leinart were still available, it would be the former, but since he's not - Brick is in the house.

5) Green Bay Packers - A.J. Hawk, LB, Ohio State. A nationally syndicated radio host recently reported the following rumor: Brett Favre told the Packers months ago whether or not he was going to return this season, but they're keeping it a secret to throw other teams off their trail. That is, of course, the dumbest fucking thing I've heard in a list of dumb fucking things about this draft. It only proves the draft should be two months earlier so our nation's poor, mistreated sports journalists wouldn't have to make up such asinine shit for such a long period of time. The only way that rumor could be anywhere close to true is if the Packers were somehow thinking of taking a QB - which they're not, because they just grabbed Aaron Rodgers in the first round last year. Actually, let me take that back: there is NO WAY this rumor could be anywhere close to true. Hawk will be the choice here, which may piss Favre off as he'd surely prefer Maryland TE Vernon Davis.

6) San Francisco 49ers - Vernon Davis, TE, Maryland. The 49ers are the proud owner of two first round picks, which sounds good - but the 49ers would probably need 15 first rounders to compete in 2006. Now if I ran the show, San Fran would slot OT Winston Justice to protect sophomore QB Alex Smith, and fill the glaring hole at TE at pick #22 with Leonard Pope. However, as they haven't asked me to be the GM, I'm assuming they'll supplant the oft-injured Eric Johnson with Davis (who is definitely a stud).

7) Oakland Raiders - Vince Young, QB, Texas. This just makes too much sense - Young will look at home in a Raiders uniform. Plus, isn't it obvious Al Davis signed Aaron Brooks with Young - moreso than Leinart or Cutler - in mind? Beyond their obvious skin-color similarities, Brooks will serve as a perfect teacher to the Young. They're both mobile but not too mobile, strong-armed, ... and no, I wouldn't discount the "being a black quarterback in the NFL" lessons that can be passed on.

8) Buffalo Bills - Brodrick Bunkley, DT, Florida State. Buffalo doesn't need anymore receiver help now that they've resigned Peerless Pri... OK, I can't finish typing that. That actually is Buffalo's most glaring hole after the departure of Eric Moulds - is Lee Evans really the number one guy now? - but there is no WR this year worth taking this high. So Buffalo will work to upgrade its weak defensive front with Bunkley, leaving many teams below feeling depressed. Plus, the matching alliterative "B.B." scheme just works.

9) Detroit Lions - Jay Cutler, QB, Vanderbilt. This is a hard pick to gauge, only because thinking similarly to the Lions front office requires a lobotomy. Cutler is the best pick here, but will Matt Millen and Co. pull the trigger? They already have a motley collection of has-beens and never-weres on the roster (Jon Kitna, Josh McCown, Joey Harrington), but are any of those guys the oft-discussed "quarterback of the future?" Considering none of them have ever been "the quarterback of the present," I'd say no. That said, will Detroit be happy with its collection and go elsewhere? Maybe they need another receiver.

10) Arizona Cardinals - Michael Huff, CB/S, Texas. Believe it or not, the Cardinals have quite a collection of offensive talent: Edgerrin James, Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald, Neil Rackers, and a reportedly rejuvenated Kurt Warner. A quarterback will have to be addressed in the near future, but with the Big Three off the board, the Cards will address their defensive needs. Which are plentiful, by the way.

11) St. Louis Rams - Ernie Sims, LB, Florida State. The Rams are another team hoping for a quarterback to drop - but it ain't gonna happen. And that will be a good thing for them, because defense should be a bigger priority. Sims, who is still dead to me for picking FSU over UGA, is the best player available, and the selection just makes sense. Plus, former Bulldog LB Will Witherspoon can bitchslap him for me. (By the way, I have a nagging feeling St. Louis will trade this pick).



12) Cleveland Browns - Kamerion Wimbley, DE/OLB, Florida State. Willie McGinest ain't a young man anymore, so the Browns will be looking to shore up their pass rush for years to come.

13) Baltimore Ravens - Haloti Ngata, DT, Oregon. Baltimore loves its defense, and it will only grow better with this addition. Of course, Brian Billick will wet himself if any of the QBs drop this far.

14) Philadelphia Eagles - Winston Justice, OT, USC. The Eagles are dying for another running back, but Philly will likely subscribe to the "you can still find good backs in the third round" logic Denver has perfected. Justice has the best name in the draft, though sadly I'll have to curse it forever once he becomes an Eagle.

15) Denver Broncos - Santonio Holmes, WR, Ohio State. The Falcons's original pick. Now the Broncos's. And it will be somebody else's on Draft Day, I'm guessing, with the way the team has been bouncing all over the board. There seems to be widespread agreement, however, that Denver will address its glaring receiver needs here. There are a couple possibilities, but since I see Chad Jackson staying in-state, the nod goes to Holmes.

16) Miami Dolphins - Chad Jackson, WR, Florida. I tipped my hand there, huh? Miami has solidified (sorta, I guess) its offense with the signing of QB Daunte Culpepper, and its running game is looking increasingly solid with Ronnie Brown and, uh, Ricky Williams maybe? The defense is increasingly older but still anchored strong, so receiver seems the way to go here.



17) Atlanta Falcons - Tye Hill, CB, Clemson. Yeah, I said it. As of this writing, Pick #17 belongs to the Vikings, but I'm traveling out on a limb here and saying the Falcs end up with it (with a big wave goodbye to Matt Schaub and perhaps a late pick). Truth is, Jason Webster sucks. I mean, sucks. He's a wide-as-a-Mack-Truck hole in Atlanta's defense, and what's worse is that everybody knows it. Hill will be more valuable than a backup quarterback, especially when Blank and Co. can draft one of those later on (COUGHshockleyCOUGH).



18) Dallas Cowboys - Donte Whitner, S, Ohio State. With receiver needs filled by Terrell Owens, Dallas is left to choose between its defensive backfield and offensive line. And since Drew Bledsoe will be sacked even if you build a cement wall around him, why not go for the sure bet?

19) San Diego Chargers - Johnathan Joseph, CB, South Carolina. On its depth chart, the Chargers might as well list me as their number one guy, because they don't have anybody much better. Of course, you could say drafting somebody from South Carolina is just the same as drafting me, and well, I would be personally offended.

20) Kansas City Chiefs - Antonio Cromartie, CB, Florida State. This draft is particularly deep in good cornerbacks, which is doubly perplexing to me that Atlanta currently doesn't have a pick (but I'm hopin', as you can see). This guy is the best of the bunch, despite only getting one collegiate start; he'll likely step in and be a starter from Game One.



21) New England Patriots - Chad Greenway, LB, Iowa. Bill Belichick would be so happy he might actually smile if Greenway fell all the way to #21. The Pats's vaunted defense wasn't so vaunted last year, and Greenway is a perfect fit - but I seem to be the only one who thinks he'll still be around.

22) San Francisco 49ers - Jimmy Williams, CB, Virginia Tech. Filling the gaping hole left two years ago by the departure of Jason Web... again, I can't finish the sentence.

23) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Ashton Youboty, CB, Ohio State. The Bucs are said to be looking corner with their first pick, and this is the best of the - remaining - bunch. The Bucs would love to see Cromartie fall a couple more spots, but Youboty (I can't wait to find out how that's pronounced) will have to do.



24) Cincinnati Bengals - Leonard Pope, TE, Georgia. Oh, what the hell? Cincinnati is in need of a tight end, and though most (if not all) draft boards have UCLA's Marcedes Lewis higher than Pope, I'm hoping David Pollack and Odell Thurman have put some good words in on His behalf.



25) New York Giants - Richard Marshall, CB, Fresno State. I can't believe the Giants would sign another OLB before the ink is dry on LaVar Arrington's contract. So the Giants will take their next greatest need, which seems to be a popular one - if this pans out, Marshall will be the seventh CB taken.

26) Chicago Bears - Marcedes Lewis, TE, UCLA. This is predicated on my Cincinnati/Leonard Pope pipe dream prognostication. Chicago needs a pass-catching tight end, and Lewis is certainly the best on the board at this point.

27) Carolina Panthers - DeAngelo Williams, RB, Memphis. True, the Panthers did resign DeShaun Foster in the offseason, but another sound RB is necessary due to his shaky injury history. Williams is actually a steal at this point; he'd be a Top 10 pick many other years.

28) Jacksonville Jaguars - Manny Lawson, DE, N.C. State. A powerful force against the rush, Lawson will be a Godsend this late to the Jags. Most draft boards have Lawson gone at this point, however, so the Jags may look to fill their TE needs (so if both the Bengals and Bears unwisely pass on Pope, it may only be a 6-hour drive to see His Holiness play).

29) New York Jets - LenDale White, RB, USC. The great question mark. White had an awful postseason, gaining weight and performing below average at the combines. However, anybody who watched him in college knows the guy has some power, and the Jets (assuming they still have this pick) will hope to tap back into that. Curtis Martin can't be counted on to play all 16 games.

30) Indianapolis Colts - Laurence Maroney, RB, Minnesota. So long, Edge! With the departure of Edgerrin James, the Colts are in dire need of a runner. I'm not going to even look who they currently have on their depth chart - James Mungro, maybe? Dominic Rhodes? Maroney and White are the two runners slated to go around here; the Colts will take whichever one the Jets don't.

31) Seattle Seahawks - Jason Allen, S, Tennessee. A hip injury apparently ended Allen's senior season early, but did the 2005 UT season even start? Zing!

32) Pittsburgh Steelers - Mathias Kiwanuka, DE, Boston College. Pittsburgh needs some receiving help (Hines Ward can't do it all - allegedly), and they might grab the very likable Sinorice Moss here. Moss's 5'8" height will probably scare them into drafting defense, however, and Kiwanuka's pass rushing ability is proven.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Hazardous Duke



Surprisingly, Duke Lacrosse T-shirts are still available on the school's website.

Needless to say, I ordered one.

The only Mets home run worth appreciating


Franco in more respectable days.


In the top of the 8th inning last night, former Atlanta Braves first baseman Julio Franco became the oldest Major League Baseball player ever to hit a home run. The fact he now plays for the Braves's perennial bitches Mets notwithstanding, Martians Attacking Indianapolis extends our hearty congratulations to the 47-year-old slugger.

We at M.A.I. headquarters have stood next to Franco a few times, and it inspired the faint glimmer of hope we can be that f'n jacked when we're in our late 40s. You know, to maintain the current jacktitude we have now, of course.

So anyway, congrats once more to Franco for his new record. Of course, the fact his home run covered the over, which we happened to bet on, has nothing to do with our appreciation.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Repeat after me: "Kill Marissa, kill Marissa, kill Marissa,..."

Tonight, she's back.



If you don't know who I'm talking about, you're a sad, sad person.

The Quest for Pe...

With all the gossip queens wagging their tongues about Superman Returns's Brandon Routh being gay, do you think this ad was completely thought out?

Island items

"Would you rather specialize in selling off-the-cuff items on an island, or on-the-cuff island items? Or alternately, would you prefer selling off-the-cuff island items off an island?"

These were the questions running through my head when the alarm clock went off at 6:45 this morning.

I have no idea what I was dreaming at 6:44, but I'm dying to know.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

'United' we stand

Count me among those who want to see Paul Greengrass's United 93, which centers on the hijacked plane that missed its target on September 11th, 2001. The film stars all no-name actors, and some of the real-life participants actually play themselves (no, not those who were on the plane, smartass). Viewers who have already screened the film - it opens April 28th - are nearly unanimous in their praise, and I enjoyed Greengrass's previous film, The Bourne Supremacy, immensely.

However, a vocal group of moviegoers - particularly in New York, which is understandable - have complained about the film's trailer, crying "Too soon!" when images of the burning World Trade Center hit the screen. Admittedly, that would be jarring if you were sitting down to watch Failure to Launch, but it rings a little hollow to me - in fact, I think the timing is perfect.

I think the U.S. citizens need a kick in the pants to remind them of what we're dealing with, and to get back some of that fire each of us held on that day nearly five years ago.

All of that said, though, I think this poster is asinine:



United Flight 93 was nowhere near the Statue of Liberty or the World Trade Center - it took off from Newark (southwest of NYC), and headed west. I understand linking the airplane to the horrors of September 11th, but that does reek of a little opportunism, no?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Search and destroy

Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed the little "Site Meter" tag at the bottom of the page. It's a way for me to track how many people come to this site, where they come from, how long they stay, and some more basically useless information. I have stooped to these levels due to my own fragile ego, because I had been thinking of disbanding this whole "blog" thing - or at least ignoring it to even greater levels - because my readership hovered somewhere between zero and one.

Thankfully, it turns out Internet traffic in fact exists in these parts; it's just that you're apathetic asshats when it comes to leaving comments. I've gotten about 300 individual hits within the past week, which makes me happy - even if I can see which wayward ways some folks got here.

The following searches have gotten people to Ye Grande Olde Martians Attacking Indianapolis in the last few days:

"Josh Massey Georgia" (Google)
"Jermaine Dupri dad's" (MSN)
"fuck VIP" (MSN)
"Martians" (MSN)
"Jennie Finch" (Netscape)
"Hey Steve Homestar" (Google)
"Erik Bedard in People Magazine" (Google)

Huh. Also, I've gotten hits today from Colorado, Florida, New York, Illinois, New Jersey, Minnesota, Texas, Arkansas, South Carolina, South Dakota - and Tokyo, although I can't imagine why. If you run a website, try that little sucker out - it can give you literally ones of minutes of entertainment.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Friday Random 10: The Meltdown

Ah, the joys of getting a day off for Good Fri,... er, I mean, a "snow day."

Yes, that pesky division of church and state has reared its ugly head again, and my day off from teaching is actually credited to an unused snow day. Snow days, it turns out, are much more enjoyable when its 83 degrees. So thank you Jesus for getting killed. I've finally found time to mow my lawn.

1) R.E.M., "Superman"
Not only have I found time to tend to my lawn, but I've also spent about three hours of this gorgeous Southern day sitting in H&R Block and my county tag office (I was about to tell you why I was in each place, but I'm thinking it's fairly self-explanatory). I'm not sayin' I agree with terrorism - but man, if somebody took out a couple of government buildings today, I wouldn't be quite as upset as usual. (What does this have to do with R.E.M. or "Superman?" Nothing, so, um, so I am really looking forward to that new movie).

2) Green Day, "Redundant"
One day, perhaps decades from now, somebody a lot smarter than me will figure out how Green Day went from a "yeah, they're sorta good, I guess" band to unleashing The Best Album Of All Time. (And no, I didn't just proclaim that without really thinking about it).

3) U2, "Bad (Live)"
From the "Wide Awake in America" EP, which was actually the first U2 record I ever owned (and it might have actually been a record, now that I think about it). A classic song that never gets its due for some reason.

4) The Proclaimers, "(I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles"
From the "Benny & Joon" soundtrack. A forgettable movie, but it was one that made me see Johnny Depp in, well, an "actorly" light for the first time. Just like "What's Eatin
g Gilbert Grape" forever erased any idea that Leonardo DiCaprio was "that kid from 'Growing Pains,'" it was "Joon" that put "21 Jump Street" firmly in the past for Depp. Like I said, not a great movie, but that Buster Keaton-inspired park scene is phenomenal. And it's safe to say, I guess, that "Like Father, Like Son" didn't accomplish the same thing for Kirk Cameron.

5) A New Found Glory, "The NeverEnding Story"
A punk cover of the "
NeverEnding Story" theme song. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: While I'm not generally a fan of remakes, I would love to see "NeverEnding" with 2006 special effects, and perhaps a script that followed a bit closer to the book.

6) Andrew Lloyd Webber, "Pilate's Dream (from 'Jesus Christ Superstar')"
Is it bad that when I saw "Pilate's," I first thought of the exercise program? Am I going to Hell?




7) The Pogues, "Young Ned of the Hill"
Only 337 days until St. Patrick's Day! By the way, I can't find anywhere else to put this, so here will have to do: I finally saw
Walk the Line this week. I'm having trouble thinking of another movie that's gained more from lead performances. I mean, on the surface, the flick is something we've seen many times before - musician overcomes childhood tragedy, starts small, hits setback, becomes a star, overcomes drugs/alcohol, becomes legend. It really is Ray with white people. However, Joaquin Phoenix and especially Reese Witherspoon are capital-F Fantastic, never giving impressions but instead transforming themselves into Johnny and June. Ick, that sounds like something cheeseball out of Film 101, but I feel it actually applies here. They shoulda given Reese two Oscars, she was that good.

8) Rick Springfield, "You Better Love Somebody"
From the "Hard to Hold" soundtrack,... and no, I don't have a "Hard to Hold"-related story to share. But I wish I the kind of person who would.

9) The Chemical Brothers, "The Boxer"
No, not a big beat reworking of the Simon and Garfunkel song. Although that would be cool.

10) Roy Orbison, "I Drove All Night"
I have no idea who originally wrote this song, but it was subsequently performed by Cyndi Lauper and Celine Dion. I'll give you three guesses who did the best version, and the first two don't count.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Friday Random 10: The Return

With a crack of the knuckles, stretch of the back, and a couple shadow punches to get the blood flowing, Friday Random 10 is back on the scene.

In my recent bout with blogophobia, FR10 was sadly neglected - and I really can't give a good reason, since it's not exactly rocket surgery on my part. Hit "play" on iPod, see what song comes up, make dumb comment, rinse, repeat. I half-promise to make a semi-concerted effort to do somewhat better in the near or distant future.

That said, the big event of the weekend is the the return of UGA football, otherwise known as the G-Day game. Those planning on going should meet up with the cool kids. However, since I am unfamiliar with the concept of "cool," I will be attending our annual Full Contact Trivia tournament. Many top trivia teams from the city get together in one bar for a Saturday afternoon of drinkin' beer, eatin' chips and queso, and racking our brains to figure out the Norse goddess of winter (Skadi, if you're playing at home).

Yes, I know I'm a hopeless dork.

1) Bruce Springsteen, "Lucky Town"
Springsteen released two albums on the same day in 1992 - "Lucky Town" and "Human Touch." I was in Colorado at the time, and forced my dad to drive 20 miles to a music store so I could pick them up on their release day. So this proves that I was a dork then as now, but at least I was a dork with taste. (And both albums are wildly underrated, by the way).

2) Van Halen, "When the Cradle Will Rock"
Ah, just when I claim to have good taste, the iPod Gods tell me to talk to the hand. Because I will, to my dying day, prefer Van Hagar over David Lee Roth's VH. Yes, I know this is an unpopular opinion. Is there anybody else out there willing to admit to this?

3) U2, "Bullet the Blue Sky (Live at Ford Autodromo, Mexico City, 3 Dec '97)"
This song makes me want to pound straight bourbon in a Philadelphia bar with nobody around except a mute bartender to refill my glass every time I so much as grunt as we watch a TV filled with only static. This is a happy thought, by the way.


4) Outkast, "Art of Storytellin' (Part I)"
Sure, Atlanta gave the country Cynthia McKinney, but we're also responsible for Outkast. So step the fuck off, bizzo.


5) Scissor Sisters, "Mary"
Good stuff, but not commentary-inspiring.

6) Jermaine Dupri, "Atlanta"
In 1999 or so, I was offered a job in Los Angeles. I didn't take it, and I spent the next few years regretting my semi-hasty decision (which had more to do with leaving UGA football than I care to admit). I don't know if it's my age, my place in life, or my surroundings, but I've never been more in love with Atlanta, and I no longer regret any part of that decision. Seriously, have you gone out in the A.T... Ok, I won't call it that, but have you been out in my city lately? Man, it kicks ass.

7) Johnny Cash, "Folsom Prison Blues #1"
I've had "Walk the Line" sitting on top of my TV for a month, but haven't mustered up the energy to actually watch it. Which is weird, as I love Johnny Cash, Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, and most music biographies (the sucky "Ray" not withstanding). I can think of only one other Netflix disc I have had for this long, and that one was a daunting 3-hour-plus war drama ("The Deer Hunter"). This one makes a lot less sense.

8) Pearl Jam, "Present Tense"
ESPN's Bill Simmons made this same observation recently, but I'll repeat it as it goes for me too: Pearl Jam just released a new album. And I didn't care. Is that a reflection of Pearl Jam's music (admittedly declining but still very good) or my short attention span? Because in high school and college, I freaked out whenever a new Pearl Jam album hit stores. And now,... meh.

9) Hootie & the Blowfish, "Look Away"
August 12th, Chastain Park. Who's in? (Seriously, stop laughing - it'll be the best show you see in 2006).

10) Modern English, "I Melt With You"
Great song. But since I can't think of anything correlating to it, let me take a sideways glance at my fantasy baseball team. I mean, I know you've been waiting to hear about it. Last Saturday was spent in the company of fellow fantasy nerds, conducting a 5-hour baseball draft. All in all, I was happy with the results. I ended up with studs Miguel Tejada, Pedro Martinez, Chipper Jones, and the Steroid Twins (Sheffield and Bonds). But even better, my pre-draft "sleepers" all ended up on my team. You may not know these names, but they're ballers: Chris Shelton, Prince Fielder, Erik Bedard and Mike Jacobs.

Anyway, I'd known about Shelton - the Detroit Tigers first baseman - since last year, seeing his pretty impressive stats in each morning's box score. I targeted him a little earlier than necessary, but he's rewarded my faith with four home runs in four games. (If I could bottle my genius, I'd be a billionaire). However, last night was the first time I actually saw Shelton play. I had no idea if he was black or white, tall or short, fat or thin. And when I finally saw him, I immediately realized he looks JUST LIKE another famous face. I started to type up my findings here,... but, well, a more observant soul beat me to it.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

If ESPN had any cajones...



Click on the picture for a bigger view.