Monday, September 25, 2006

Fix

Yes, it was rigged. And yes, the anti-Falcons bias on ESPN's part was sickening.

I hope New Orleans soon turns into the Gulf of Mexico's best fishing spot.

Hurricane Vick

Katrina II hits New Orleans tonight.

Happy hour isn't even here, and I'm already sick of the hushed tones and solemn head-bowing of all the ESPN commentators.

"New Orleans is truly America's team tonight..."

"My heart is with the Saints..."

"This is for the people of this great city. You've earned it..."

I can't imagine my gag reflex is going to hold much longer. Look, I understood the "let's embrace the New Yorkers" thing five years ago, despite my jab in the previous post. I really did. Because here's the difference:

New York is a great city.

New Orleans, on the other hand, is just a tad bit more of a shithole than it was before Katrina. As somebody who has been there multiple times over the past 30 years, though, take it from me: the urine smell that now permeates the city is nothing new.

And the Saints? Please. They're easily the most inept franchise in the history of the NFL, with only a faint ray of hope because the second-most inept franchise left Reggie Bush on the draft board. So unless the NFL has some super-secret way to fix games (and I wouldn't put it past them), the Falcons are going to lay the proverbial schmack down tonight.

Look, I get it. The city was devastated, some legitimate heroes have helped "rebuild" it (trust me, those quotation marks are necessary), and despite many residents and politicians showing the worst America has to offer, it is better to focus on the good. However, can we please stop pretending the reopening of the always-a-sewer Superdome - for a freakin' Saints game, no less - is some huge deal worthy of this overwrought melodrama? Are we completely blind to the fact the Saints were thisclose to moving out of Louisiana before the hurricane because the city didn't support them?

Prediction: Atlanta 34, New Orleans 10.

Alternate prediction, allowing for new commish Roger Goodall to cook the game with his own low country broil: New Orleans 16, Atlanta 14, on a tearful last-second John Carney field goal.

Of course, I hope the Falcons somehow get backup linebacker John Leake in the endzone for a last-second, game-winning score. Those headlines would be fun.



This year, I hope New Orleans residents just drown ... their sorrows.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Remember when we pretended to like New Yorkers?

Well, they're back to being the retards they always were.

Case in point:



A Mets fan never met a grammatical error he didn't like and make out with in the back of a Camaro.

Monday, September 18, 2006

A history of violence

Silly him. How could the Pope ever infer Islam is a violent religion?

If only he had the stones not to apologize...

9/19 edit: A little icing. Seriously, Muslims are more thin-skinned and whinier than my most immature 5th grade student. What self-important bitches. Oh, and did you know Muhammed liked baby dick? You hear me, freaks?

Come and get it - you can find me here. Hit me with your best shot.