Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Dead Pool



Let the morbidity begin.

As of 12:01 this morning, the 2007 Martians Attacking Indianapolis Dead Pool has begun.

Eleven entrants have chosen 10 people they think might die in this calendar year. The rules were simple:

1) At least five of your choices must be under 50, and two of those must be under 30.
2) All of your choices must be celebrities.
3) None of your choices could have appeared in Cocoon or Cocoon: The Return. Except Steve Guttenberg.
4) One. Rapper. Only.
5) The entry fee is a mere $5 (to be paid at the end of the year).

If the results are to be believed, Nicole Richie will die in 2007. Richie, she of TV's "The Simple Life" and various eating disorder (alleged!) fame, came in first with appearances on five lists. Fidel Castro followed closely with four.

That's right, the 25-year-old socialite beat the 80-year-old socialist. I'm not sure if there has ever been a bigger wake-up call. To Castro, I mean - start taking better care of yourself, son! Other folks that ended up on more than two lists are Dick Clark, Lindsay Lohan and Mickey Rooney.

Anyway, the winner will end up profiting a cool $50, which probably should be donated to the closest church or charity as soon as possible.



First of all, my entry:

George Blanda, 79
Mel Brooks, 80
Fidel Castro, 80
Pete Doherty, 27
Roger Ebert, 64
Charlton Heston, 83
Harry Knowles, 35
Natasha Lyonne, 28
Kate Moss, 32
Mike Tyson, 40

Out of my 10, I regard under-30s Doherty and Lyonne as my most possible successes, which of course speaks volumes about them.

And here are the rest. I've put each participant's first name and last initial only, in case some folks may not want to be identified in such a tasteless endeavor. Feel free to reveal yourself to the world in the comments section.

Mark A.
Dom DeLuise, 73
Farrah Fawcett, 59
Corey Haim, 35
Lindsey Lohan, 20
Haley Joel Osment, 18
Terrell Owens, 33
Andy Rooney, 87
Tom Sizemore, 45
Abe Vigoda, 85
John Wooden, 96

Benjamin C.
James Frey, 37
The Game, 27
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 73
Whitney Houston, 43
Patricia Neal, 80
Peter O'Toole, 74
Nicole Richie, 25
Mickey Rooney, 86
Ally Sheedy, 44
Anna Nicole Smith, 39



Wade G.
Muhammad Ali, 64
Daniel Baldwin, 46
Sid Caesar, 84
Andy Dick, 41
Charlton Heston, 83
Artie Lange, 39
Lindsay Lohan, 20
Daniel Radcliffe, 17
Mickey Rooney, 86
Christopher Walken, 63

Sarah G.
Fidel Castro, 80
Dick Clark, 77
Betty Ford, 88
Lou Holtz, 69
Tank Johnson, 25
Star Jones, 44
Johnny Knoxville, 35
Natasha Lyonne, 28
Anna Nicole Smith, 39
John Wooden, 96

Kevin L.
Danny Bonaduce, 47
Fidel Castro, 80
Pete Doherty, 27
Kirk Douglas, 90
Betty Ford, 88
The Game, 27
Leif Garrett, 45
Karl Malden, 94
Ariel Sharon, 78
Odell Thurman, 23



Jamie M.
Dave Chappelle, 33
Dick Clark, 77
Kirk Douglas, 90
Bob Dylan, 65
Star Jones, 44
Lindsay Lohan, 20
Courtney Love, 42
Nancy Reagan, 85
Nicole Richie, 25
Mike Wallace, 88

Jerramy M.
Alan Alda, 70
Bob Barker, 83
Snoop Dogg, 35
Clint Eastwood, 76
Kid Rock, 35
Don King, 74
Willie Mays, 75
Steve O, 32
Jack Osbourne, 21
Nicole Richie, 25

John S.
Daniel Baldwin, 46
Jeff Conaway, 56
Jeff Curro (Jeff the Drunk), 39
Bob Dole, 83
Whitey Ford, 76
The Game, 24
Corey Haim, 35
Artie Lange, 39
Nicole Richie, 25
Mickey Rooney, 86



Matt T.
Muhammad Ali, 64
Bob Barker, 83
Kirk Douglas, 90
Michael J. Fox, 45
John Goodman, 54
Magic Johnson, 47
Evel Knievel, 68
Osama Bin Laden, 49
Michelle Rodriguez, 28
Young Jeezy, 29

Doug T.
Fidel Castro, 80
Dick Clark, 77
George Clinton, 65
Jeff Gordon, 35
Ruth Bell Graham, 86
Whitney Houston, 43
Benny Parsons, 65
Mary Kate Olsen, 20
Nicole Richie, 25
Kanye West, 29

6 comments:

Sarah said...

We're playing for money? Cool, but I'd just do it for the morbidity.

Josh said...

Yep, a whole $5 each. But hey, at the end, it's $50 you didn't have before - and hopefully I can thank Fidel Castro for it.

Riley said...

Dammit. I shoulda put Castro.

Riley said...

Ally Sheedy better damn die this year.

Josh said...

I thought that was one of the more random entries, by the way. Is Ally Sheedy sick or something?

Other favorite random ones: Haley Joel Osment, Daniel Radcliffe and Jeff Gordon.

And what happens if we find out Osama Bin Laden died in 2006? No points for you, Matty T!

Doug said...

I think it's hilarious that one of the cover blurbs on "Skyscraper" is "Ms. Smith gets her kit off." Nothing about whether the movie has any cinematic merit whatsoever, but Anna Nicole does get naked, and you can't put a price on that.