Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Fun With Google: Part Yet Again

And now, oh yet again, it's time to play "How the Hell Did You Get Here?" This game is brought to you courtesy of Sitemeter, that little tag at the bottom of this page which reads how individual readers were brought to Martians Attacking Indianapolis.

The recent Google searches delivered people to my Internet doorstep:

  • "buckhead betty"
  • "peter king wet himself'"
  • "buckhead betty's hbo"
  • "I've got this Christian girlfriend now and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son and I'm trying to get her to renounce God and fuck me and I just want to prove to her that I'm wort"
  • "nfl draft"
  • "jonathan coryell"
  • "benny parsons"
  • "i love him long time golden globes"
  • "rinko kikuchi i love him long time"
  • "myspace for what you dream of"
  • "artie lang death pool"
  • "arrested development 'what are the odds?' maybe tonight"
  • "Jerome Bettis Cock Size"
  • "deangelo hall talkin trash pictures for myspace"
  • "picture of edgerrin james kicking himself"
  • "seneca wallace myspace layouts"
  • "pinko kikuchi"
  • "Brian Duff Indianapolis"
  • "mel and the party hats"
  • "indianapolis emmys"
  • "nom de doom"
  • "moscone bail bonds shirt"


1) I had at least 30 folks - no exaggeration - come here due to some variation on Rinko Kikuchi's "love him long time" quote. I particularly like the one who spelled her name "pinko" and still got here because of my recent comment re: Superman being a communist.

2) The long, painfully dirty quote about a "Christian girlfriend" was taken directly from an episode of "Arrested Development." I quoted it months ago because, well, it was painfully dirty.

3) I'm glad somebody else out there is giving Moscone's Bail Bonds its due for being a leader in its industry. (Ok, fine - it was Joe Pantoliano's business in Midnight Run, and recently the name of my fantasy baseball team.)

4) I don't know Brian Duff. I do know Jonathan Coryell. And Peter King is a columnist for Sports Illustrated, but I'm not sure he has soiled himself recently.

5) I honestly don't know what "Buckhead Betty's hbo" refers to, but at least 10 people came to M.A.I. because of it.

6) I'm here for all of your Jerome Bettis cock size wants and needs.

7) Seriously, though: somebody out there actually went to Google and searched for "Jerome Bettis cock size," probably expecting to find something. What a weird world. (Yeah, I know. It was probably Dave.)


DAve said...

Y'know, as I was reading this post I thought it would be funny to post a comment admitting I was the one searching for "Jerome Bettis cock size", and then I get to the end and dammit if you didn't ruin that.

On the bright side, I bet repeated use of the phrase on a page may get you to number one on Google...

"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"
"Jerome Bettis cock size"

Josh said...

Ooh, sorry Dave - you're too late.

ACG said...

"Buckhead Betties" is a show in development for HBO about, you guessed it, Buckhead Betties. The woman who came up with the concept is actually from, if memory serves, New Jersey, but she lived in Atlanta for all of two years before deciding that it was her town and that she could enshrine all of the usual Deep South stereotypes in a premium cable show with some false sense of authenticity.

All in all, this woman is a mess.

Brian Duff said...

I'm Brian duff. Artist, 29 formerly of Indianapolis. I just am not popular enough as yet. I was on the front page of the star in april 2009. I googles myself and saw your entry, thought I might solve that mystery for you.