Thursday, March 15, 2007

Martian morsels

Regular writing in midget-sized form:
  • It's not a secret anymore - and it never really was from my blog readers, just my bosses. After two years teaching 5th grade, I am moving on. People ask me why I am leaving. I mean, other than the feeling of being incarcerated at work and absurdly low pay, this is what I have to deal with: "My dad told me he didn't care what you said about going ahead in the book, I had to do it." That was a student this morning. Not the same one that told another teacher to shut up yesterday, however.
  • So what am I doing? Well, baby, get ready for the new SuperSexy, SuperExciting, SuperJosh State Farm Insurance Agent! (More details coming as they become clear.)
  • Back to teaching for a sec, though. For reasons too boring to detail, I ended up at a Gwinnett County Public Schools board meeting last week. As it was starting, a man said the Pledge of Allegiance - something I hate with a passion, but whatever (I'll explain my abhorrance another another time). However, as soon as the word "...and justice for all" left his lips, he asked everybody to bow their heads. What followed was a fairly lengthy prayer, with the entire board and nearly all audience members standing with eyes closed - and it even ended with the words "in Jesus' name." To make things even more juicily awkward, the man - later revealed to be a southern Baptist preacher - stood directly under the "Public" in the larger-than-life "Gwinnett County Public Schools" sign. I locked eyes with a coworker right after the "Amen," and shot out: "Did that really just happen?" Most within earshot reacted with a smirk, including my Muslim coworker.
  • And remember, I'm pretty damn conservative.
  • It's not an urban legend, it's not something made up - I actually saw the documentation. Two years ago, there was a 5th grade girl at my school named, swear to God, "Catoris." If you don't see the problem, say it out loud.
  • Camille Paglia and I are practically carbon copies of each other. Beside her being a woman, a liberal, bisexual, a feminist, a yankee, supremely intelligent, almost 60, somebody who can use "Dionysian" in a sentence (correctly), and a master at written expression, we're practically the same person. I adore her, and I am so thankful for the return of her monthly column at Even though I find myself nodding in agreement more during the first half, this week's entry is typically wonderful.
  • For my second reading assignment of the day (still some teacher left in me, I guess), I point you to yet another liberal feminist - although my love for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Cynthia Tucker most certainly has an expiration date of tomorrow at the latest. File this one under "even a blind squirrel gets a nut sometime."
  • My final four: North Carolina, Florida, UCLA and Memphis, with UNC winning it all. Boring, I know.
  • Spent the last couple days watching The Guardian, a Kevin Costner film so generic it should have been titled Action Drama. However, mainly due to my undying love for Costner and grudging respect for Ashton Kutcher (he's fairly talented), I sorta enjoyed it, even finding my eyes misting at the finale. Of course, I quickly punched myself in the nuts for that transgression.
  • I'm not sure why everybody is so riled up about eight U.S. attorneys being fired. I mean, it's not like all 93 were fired at the same time, just as legal allegations against the First Lady were gaining steam. I mean, that would be crazy.


Sarah said...

"Two years ago, there was a 5th grade girl at my school named, swear to God, "Catoris."

You have me there. Kilo is about the worst name I've encoutnered. My aunt had a student named Special K, not the cereal.

Jennifer said...

Your first bullet point, about the parent, is precisely why I never went into primary or secondary education. Instead, I went the PhD route (in English) and while there are equally head scratching, career questioning moments, at least I do not have to deal with parents.

Sheila West said...

As one former teacher to another: good luck!

Doug said...

Sorry, but not even Bob Barr buys the "But Clinton did it" defense for Alberto Gonzales and the U.S. attorney firings.