Friday, September 21, 2007

Betcha Bottom Dollar: Week Three

I suck, I know.

The new job has officially started, and thus blogging has been weak. (I didn't think getting busted on the Internet would be quite the right way to start things off).

I will do better next week, but for now, here are the picks with lamentably brief commentary. You see, I'm gettin' ready to pack up the car and head to Alabama. Tailgating will commence shortly before dawn, and the Bulldogs will thrash the Crimson Tide shortly after dusk.

Life is good. Except for the picks. My bad.

The picks:

Buffalo @ New England (-17). This spread is just too big for an NFL game - or maybe that's what they want us to think. Nah. PICK: Buffalo

Miami @ NY Jets (-3). The winner is anybody who doesn't watch! Zing! PICK: Miami

San Diego (-6) @ Green Bay. Fantasy football note: a guy in my league just traded LaDainian Tomlinson and Cedric Benson for Shaun Alexander and Marion Barber. And he traded them to the guy who appears to be the league's biggest dick (other than myself, a'course). I wanted to throw up when I saw that. PICK: Green Bay

Detroit @ Philadelphia (-6). McNabb played the race card in a ridiculous fashion this week, and now I don't feel bad rooting against him. PICK: Detroit

Minnesota @ Kansas City (-3). The winner is anybody who doesn't wa ... what, it's been done? PICK: Minnesota

San Francisco @ Pittsburgh (-9). Speaking of San Francisco, I finally read the brilliant A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (part of it takes place there). Loved it to high heavens, even if I still have to look the title up on Amazon when mentioning it. PICK: San Francisco

St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (-4). I was impressed with the Buccaneer dismantling of New Orleans. Then again, I was impressed with Katrina's dismantling of New Orleans, so maybe I'm not a good source. PICK: St. Louis

Arizona @ Baltimore (-8). No idea why the spread is this high. PICK: Arizona

Indianapolis (-6 1/2) @ Houston. Ooh, Vegas's little tricky-trick. Put the spread at 6 1/2, and just wait for the amateurs to say, "All the Colts have to do is win by a touchdown? I'm taking that." And then the bookies rake the money in. Well, they can have mine too. PICK: Indianapolis

Jacksonville @ Denver (-3 1/2).
It looks like the lines are starting to right themselves when Denver is involved. As I've said before, they're not good. And they ain't good enough to cover here, either. PICK: Jacksonville

Cleveland @ Oakland (-3).
If you had told me Cincinnati would score 45 points against Cleveland last week, I'd have wagered my siblings. Trouble is, the Browns scored 51. See ya, sibs. PICK: Cleveland

Cincinnati @ Seattle (-3). And yet I'm still picking the Bengals here. Weird. PICK: Cincinnati

Carolina (-4) @ Atlanta. Ok, fine - the Falcons are 0-2. I refuse to write off the season quite yet, proving once again that I am ever the homerest homer that ever homered. Morten Andersen is back, though, baby! You can't forget that! Oh, and six wins might win you the NFC South. PICK: Atlanta

NY Giants @ Washington (-4). The 'Skins looked good Monday night. PICK: Washington

Dallas @ Chicago (-3). Everybody on the radio this afternoon was picking the Bears. So, of course ... PICK: Dallas

Tennessee @ New Orleans (-4).
I hate to say it, but I think the Saints bounce back here. PICK: New Orleans

Last week: 10-6

Overall: 17-13-2
Fake wagering total ($100 on every game, 10% juice on losses): up $270

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