Friday, October 26, 2007

Betcha Bottom Dollar: NFL Week 8

Truncation. It's something I've never been accused of.

Alas, today's picks column will likely be truncated, as I am in the process of finishing up the work week, packing my bags, scalping tickets, loading The Girl's car, and otherwise getting ready to head to Jacksonville for the annual Georgia-Florida game. While a Bulldog victory might not necessarily be in the cards, at least there's a case of Natural Light in the trunk.

Good times.

The picks:

Cleveland (-3) @ St. Louis. While the masses are paying attention to the possible undefeatedness of the Colts and Patriots, the Rams are quietly looking more-and-more like the NFL's first-ever 0-16 team. And Vegas is noticing - the Browns are a freaking road favorite. The Browns. From Cleveland. Yes, the ones with the orange helmets. Those. And furthermore, I'm actually picking them. True, the Rams still have to entertain the Falcons in Missouri, and have visits to San Francisco and Arizona coming up, but from where's I'm sitting, 0-16 is a far likelier possibility than 16-0 this year. PICK: Cleveland

Detroit @ Chicago (-5). PICK: Chicago

Indianapolis (-7) @ Carolina. Here's my lock of the week: the broadcasters of this game will say the word "Patriots" more than the word "Panthers." Next week's Patriots/Colts game will, in fact, dominate discussion in almost every game, just because this week is so boring. PICK: Indianapolis

NY Giants (-10) @ Miami. The Dolphins, NFL's other winless team, will be 0-8 after Sunday, but has an easier path to Win No. 1 than the Rams. Buffalo is on the schedule twice, along with home games against the Jets and Bengals. I don't think the Dolphin faithful will be happy with 2-14, but it ain't a doughnut. PICK: NY Giants

Oakland @ Tennessee (-7 1/2). PICK: Tennessee

Philadelphia (-1) @ Minnesota. PICK: Philadelphia

Pittsburgh (-4) @ Cincinnati. PICK: Cincinnati

Buffalo @ NY Jets (-3). This game has all the excitement of hot sick. PICK: Buffalo

Houston @ San Diego (-7 1/2). As of press time, there's no spread for this game due to Matt Schaub's gimpiness and, quite possibly, the uncertainty surrounding where this game will actually be played (doggone wildfires). So I'm making it up. I'll update when I can, but my darn work computers won't let me access gambling websites. Prudes. PICK: San Diego

One of the bigger Internet sportsbooks has San Diego by 9 - I was close. Anyway, I'm stickin' with the Bolts.

Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay (-4).
I'm spending the next few days in Jaguar country, so I'll let that sway my pick. All good bettors let stuff like that influence them. PICK: Jacksonville

New Orleans (-3) @ San Francisco.
Two weeks ago, I wrote "There's this silly little gnawing feeling I'm getting that New Orleans is about to explode for eight straight wins." Two down, six to go. PICK: New Orleans

Washington @ New England (-17). I don't think I'll be able to handle the Red Sox winning the World Series or the Patriots winning the Super Bowl, much less both. And then I had to watch Virginia Tech completely fall apart to Boston College just hours after I got the new Sports Illustrated with the Boston Celtics on the cover. This world sucks. I want a new one. PICK: Washington

Green Bay @ Denver (-3). Come on Rockies, you sons of bitches! PICK: Green Bay

Last week: 8-6

Overall: 49-45-6
Fake wagering total ($100 on every game, 10% juice on losses): down $50

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