Monday, October 22, 2007

First bloodier



January's Rambo - aka John Rambo - aka Rambo IV - aka Rambo IV: The Greatest Fucking Movie Of All Fucking Time and Don't You Fucking Forget It or Stallone Will Strangle You With His Cock - has been rated R for "strong graphic bloody violence, sexual assaults, grisly images and language."

This movie sounds like a perfect steak dinner. Strong. Graphic. Bloody. Grisly. With a side of sexual assaults.

Here's what the box office top 10 will look like after Rambo's opening weekend:

1) Rambo - $412.5 million
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Yes, that's right. Every ticket sold will be for Rambo. All other theaters will be vacant, all other movies will play to empty chairs. Kids will try to buy a ticket for a PG-rated movie with hope of sneaking in, but the usher will say, "Don't fret, little one. We won't hide the glory from you." And then they'll get a ticket, and all will be right in the world. Because it's Rambo.

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