Friday, January 04, 2008


The calendar, the newspaper and my phone all agree: it's Friday. My head is the one offering a dissenting opinion.

The holidays are over, but they're still wreaking havoc on perception. It doesn't feel like a Friday. It doesn't taste, sound or smell like a Friday. And it certainly doesn't look like one, with election results and college football dominating the morning headlines.

Of course, I'm not complaining. This work week has been stretched out to an excruciatingly long two days, and I'm in need of a break. The past seven-day cycle has seen a number of huge events take place, from my car bumpin' n' grindin' with a cement wall, to The Sister finally getting her due, to a particularly eventful trip to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl.

In fact, let's focus on that last one. So many damn things happened in those three days, it's going to take a list to put them into proper perspective. And I love lists.

My Top Five New Orleans Headlines

5) Emeril's. One of my Christmas presents to The Girl was a New Year's Eve dinner reservation at Emeril's in N.O. Now I ain't FAN-cee, but that's FAN-cee. And freakin' good, too. I hate seafood, but found myself taking down shrimp, lobster, crab and even sea urchin (though at the time I thought it was french dressing). It ain't cheap, but it's guuuuud. And the egg nog tart thingy for dessert? To. Die. For.

4) The OSU bus. New Orleans not only played host to the Sugar Bowl, but is also the site of Monday's BCS Championship Game between Ohio State and LSU. And as I came across the already-present OSU team bus, I received the rare opportunity to express my feelings in a fair, mature manner.

3) Bourbon Street. This was my first time drinking on the famed Louisiana strip, and it just about lived up to its reputation. And that's why you aren't seeing any pictures from that portion of the vacation. Now it's not that I shy away from posting boobs on this blog, it's just that I shy away from posting those boobs on this blog. Picture your idea of "good boobs." Now add 125 pounds to the "good boobs" frame, and combine it with a mental image of a chain-smoking central Florida trailer park resident in her late 40s. Those boobs. As the evening went on, the chants of "Show! Your! Tits!" became "Oh! Please! God! Don't! Show! Your! Tits! Keep! Your! Shirt! On! My! Eyes!" Or something to that effect. I mean, we all know New Year's Eve is Amateur Night, but we also all know New Year's Eve and Mardi Gras are two separate occasions, right? Right?

Yes, my seats were amazing. I could see my house from there, even though the game was in a dome. I was that high.

2) The Game. Man, the Sugar Bowl was 18 hours of pure football excitement. Georgia's 41-10 dismantling of Hawaii aside, that sucker turned painful in the second half. And while we did our best to hang on to the remaining minutes (hours, days) of Georgia's fantastic 2007 season, seeing 0:00 on the scoreboard was damn near exhilarating. Congrats to the Bulldogs on the most fun season this dusty ol' brain can remember, and good luck in dealing with the mammoth expectations 2008 will bring. One negative note, however: certain Georgia fans need to class up before we hit the true national spotlight next year (says the guy who flicked off the OSU bus, I know, but at least it was empty). I was mildly embarassed to see how some of the inebriated red and black-clad treated the Warriors fans, who were about the friendliest bunch I've come across in my years of traveling to games. Save your taunting for those who deserve it (Georgia Tech, Tennessee, Florida), and show some damn dignity. Screaming at a group of 50-year-old Hawaiians when you're up by 38 is deserving of a cockpunch, and I'm sorry I didn't have the energy to deliver one.

1) The Highlight. Oh, and by the way, The Girl is now ... (drumroll please) ... The Fiancee.

On December 31st, about 10 p.m., I took her to the banks of the Mississippi, shared some private words, and got down on one knee. And even though I was fairly sure of her answer, a part of me still reeled in shock when she said yes. And no, she wasn't drunk.

It happened about two minutes after this picture was taken. She claims to have had no idea. I claim to have no idea how I landed such a freakin' hottie.

The NFL picks, just for S&Gs:
Washington @ Seattle (-3 1/2). PICK: Washington
Jacksonville (-3) @ Pittsburgh. PICK: Jacksonville
NY Giants @ Tampa Bay (-3). PICK: NY Giants
Tennessee @ San Diego (-10). PICK: San Diego

My regular season total: 115-127-20. Yes, I'm humiliated.


BobbyH said...

Congrats on the engagement Josh! Looking forward to seeing you and 'The Wife' at TC again this fall.

Sarah said...

Awww. Congrats.

the fiancee said...

Yay! :)

ACG said...

Aww! Congratulations. I'm fairly sure I had something to say about the rest of the post, but I think it flew right out of my head at the sight of that rock. Probably what happened to her, too.

Doug said...

Congratulations, you lucky, lucky fucker. Given how completely your love life has blown mine into the weeds, I now feel completely justified in withholding the $110 you earned for winning our fantasy football league and blowing it on cheap hookers.

But seriously, congrats. You getting married on the 50-yard-line of Dolphins Stadium during halftime of the Georgia-Oklahoma 2009 BCS national championship game or what?

alex (the girl) said...


Riley said...

Congratulations, Josh.