Sunday, March 02, 2008

Playing GM


Michael Turner, the Atlanta Falcons' latest addition to its 2009 Super Bowl-winning team

A couple weeks ago, I had a dream Arthur Blank hired me to be the general manager of the Atlanta Falcons.

Two points:

1) Yes, those are the kinds of dreams I have.

2) Yes, in the dream it didn't seem the least bit weird that Blank would choose a 32-year-old former teacher, current insurance salesman - because I am quite certain I would excel at the job if given the opportunity.

So reality sets in, and I'm not - sadly for the team and its fan(s) - in charge at Flowery Branch. But I can play the "what-if" game, and hope Blank eventually stumbles across this blog while surfing for lumber porn. I'm rested and ready, sir!

The Falcons just signed running back Michael Turner, which is an exceptional move (and one I would have done if GM, thank you very much). This obviously negates the need to draft Darren McFadden with the third pick of the draft, as Turner and Jerious Norwood make a hellagood running game.

So do they do the obvious thing, and take Boston College QB Matt Ryan with the pick?

I say NO. And I say it so fervently that the all-caps and bold font are actually required.

If I'm GM, here's what I do:

1) I write more lists, because apparently I love them.

2) I trade the third pick in the draft to the McFadden-coveting Cowboys, in exchange for their two first round picks (#22 and #28).

3) I trade DeAngelo Hall to the highest bidder, likely getting the Giants' first round pick (#31). The recent acquisition of CB Von Hutchins - a mainstay of my championship-winning fantasy team in '07 - makes this all the more possible.

4) We find ourselves with three first round picks, extremely valuable for a team with A LOT of needs. We use pick #22 on Delaware quarterback Joe Flacco, while pick #28 is slotted for the best available O-lineman, possibly Vanderbilt's Chris Williams or Pittsburgh's Jeff Otah. Pick #31 will be used on a position of extreme need, and the Falcons will take Georgia kicker Brandon Coutu.

5) Just kidding about that last part. Pick #31 should be used on a D-lineman.

6) This is all moot if, for some reason, St. Louis passes on tackle Jake Long at Pick #2. Long is taken instead of going forward with the Cowboys trade. (But I don't see St. Louis letting Long go by). Then we pray Flacco drops to 31.

6 comments:

Stanicek said...

uhh...its baseball season.

jerry glanville said...

You?

GM?

harhahhahrhahahrha

Blank needs a greeter at Home Depot.
Start small kiddo!

Josh said...

Glanville, you always have a terribly witty comment, but why don't you try typing your own name into that Dorito-stained keyboard for once?

Be brave and stop hiding. Anonymity breeds douchebaggery.

Lu said...

Mr. GM:

Nice analysis, but you KNOW the Falcons are going to draft Andre Woodson as their QB of the future. And you know why.

Josh said...

Trust me, I've already thought of that. And out of every single QB in the draft, he's the one I want the least.

And you know why.

(Because he sucks).

Anonymous said...

You're an idiot who (thankfully) will never have any influence whatsoever on the personnel decisions of the Atlanta Falcons, or my name isn't Douglas Clark Gillett.