Friday, October 31, 2008

Betcha Bottom Dollar: Week Nine

I took the day off work, which should mean you'd be getting a heapin' helpin' of NFL picks right about now. Sadly, my day has been spent in preparation for the Georgia-Florida roadtrip, which embarks in T-minus 90 minutes. Liquor store, Kinko's, Kroger, laundry, liquor store, packing, liquor store - there's only so much I can handle right now.

So as crushed as I know you are right now, I apologize as I present you with a sorely lacking piece of fluff. I promise to do you better next time.

That said, there is one bonus here. With the help of Earl (aka Puga), I present you with the new-and-hopefully-improved Cocktail Party sign:

The picks:

Houston @ Minnesota (-4 1/2). PICK: Houston

Jacksonville (-7 1/2) @ Cincinnati. Ah, Jacksonville. Nestled in burgeoning Duval County, home to fine dining and fine crackwhoring alike, destination of today's said roadtrip. Let's just say that I've gotten lost in Jacksonville - and that I never again want to get lost in Jacksonville. PICK: Jacksonville

Tampa Bay (-8 1/2) @ Kansas City. Jacksonville. There, I just wanted to squeeze it in one more time after the last paragraph. PICK: Kansas City

Baltimore @ Cleveland (-1 1/2). Speaking of the road trip, I'm happy to report gas prices in the $2.20s. Even in The Fiancee's Honda Fit, we'll still save upwards of $50-plus doing this trip now as opposed to three weeks ago. I'm just wondering where those "experts" are that told us recently we'd soon be seeing $10 a gallon, and never again see anything below $3. They've gone back to forecasting global warming, I guess. PICK: Cleveland

NY Jets @ Buffalo (-5 1/2). Happy Halloween, by the way. Be sure to dress up as something scary, like Bills RB Marshawn Lynch. (God, I love that guy). PICK: Buffalo

Arizona (-3) @ St. Louis. PICK: Arizona

Detroit @ Chicago (-13).
PICK: Chicago

Green Bay @ Tennessee (-5 1/2). Take Green Bay and the money line. The Titans are not going 16-0 this year, and this is a huge slip-up possibility. Plus, Aaron Rodgers had a week off to rest up and heal (of course, that doesn't mean I'm starting him on my fantasy team against the Tennessee defense. Hells no.) PICK: Green Bay

Miami @ Denver (-3).
Netflix Recap: I have been watching a lot of movies lately, but this week I veered back to renting TV shows. Right now, I'm holding discs of "Spaced" and "Mad Men," neither of which I'd ever seen. So far, I've made it through seven episodes of "Spaced" - a Britcom from the Shaun of the Dead guys - and I'm beginning to think it was a bit overhyped. I mean, it's funny. I've laughed out loud many times. But I've been hearing for five years about how it blows away the UK "Office" and rivals Monty Python, and so far I ain't seein' it. As I'm not even halfway through, though, I'll reserve judgment. The creators are surely relieved. PICK: Denver

Atlanta (-2 1/2) @ Oakland. The Falcons got a game stolen from them by incompetent referees last week. If you were within two miles of my house last Sunday, you surely heard my reaction to the blown call. So here's the test for Atlanta - fly across country, and pick yourselves up in one of the hardest places to play - thankfully against a pretty crappy team. As a side note, Matt Ryan will be making his debut for my 8-0 fantasy team against the league's second place squad, so my faith in him obviously knows no bounds. PICK: Atlanta

Dallas @ NY Giants (-9).
PICK: Dallas

Philadelphia (-6 1/2) @ Seattle. The sucker's spread. "Oh, the Eagles are definitely going to beat lowly Seattle by more than a touchdown! Definitely!" Vegas - a place I increasingly believe is the site of the world's only time machine - is smarter than you. Always remember that, my friends. PICK: Seattle

New England @ Indianapolis (-6).
Actually, this sort of reeks as "sucker's spread" as well. What have the Colts shown to make you believe they could beat the Patriots by two field goals? So in this scenario, Vegas would appear to be begging us to take the Patriots. But I want to take the Patriots. And this is why Vegas is smarter than me too. PICK: New England

Pittsburgh @ Washington (-2). PICK: Pittsburgh

Last week: 5-7-2
Overall: 53-58-5


the fiancee said...

You've mentioned my car in 3 out of the last 4 NFL picks posts (or whatever the proper term would be).

Um. That's all. Just an observation.

Carrie said...

I love Spaced!! I was crying I was laughing so hard at some parts!