Friday, August 29, 2008

Creating a new title by dropping "the." Brilliance

My God, I can't wait to see this movie.

And, you know, at first I was kidding. But after watching that trailer for the 37th time, I'm starting to think I'm not.

(The first one is an absolutely underrated clas - um, underrated really good movie. Seriously.)

Thursday, August 28, 2008


Today's Priorities

1) Obtain two Georgia/Georgia Southern tickets.

2) Vomit when realizing college football begins today. Smile while doing so.

3) Giggle when realizing high school football does too.

4) Watch NC State give South Carolina a scare.

5) Listen to Jacksonville State upset Georgia Tech.

6) Examine my fantasy football team again for any perceived weaknesses. So far: none.

7) Have my seemingly shredded back examined by Emory specialists, and hopefully avoid being either cut or needled. The pain has increased daily, to the point I can't sleep without medication both while going to bed and again at 4 a.m. Pure hell. Appointment - 9:45.

8) Pick up my dry-cleaning.

In that order.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Proud to be an American

I couldn't muster a single caring cell about the 2008 Olympics, and as The Fiancee pointed out, I was probably a little too proud of that fact.

Having the 1996 Games in my hometown must have ruined me on the event forever. First, because now that I've seen a lot of the events live, watching them on tape delay doesn't exactly quicken the pulse. And second, I'm still embarrassed our city's government turned those two weeks into the goddamned Compton swap meet.

However, I will link to a Beijing video when I feel it is truly noteworthy.

Oh, and also, just asking: Is Michael Phelps a douche?

Friday, August 08, 2008

It's only fitting he's a safety. He keeps all of us safe.

I know what UGA jersey I'll be buying this year.

Highly and wryly smiley

So I'm walking around the office this morning with a certain song stuck in my head. And without realizing it, I'm singing the words out loud. And hey, it's Friday, it's cool; everybody is in a similarly chipper mood.

I just realized what lyrics I've been sharing with my co-workers, though.

The last time I freaked out/
I just kept looking down/
I st-st-st-stuttered when/
You asked me what I'm thinking 'bout/
Felt like I couldn't breathe/
You asked what's wrong with me/
My best friend Leslie said/
"Oh, she's just being Miley."

Seriously, though, that's a catchy f'in song.

(dramatic pause)

"Dateline NBC" is going to be here by my lunch break, won't it?

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Only a few more to go

Bear witness, my friends - visual evidence of the upcoming football season.

Of course, I didn't qualify for any tickets from my actual alma mater; these had to be ordered from Central Michigan. The girl on the phone was wonderfully nice, until I listed my mailing address as "Atlanta, GA." The tone noticeably changed.

But I'm in the game, bitches.

Section 606? That's lower-level 50-yard line, right?

(Um, so if ever you happen to be holding a couple extra for any other game, you know who to call).

Monday, August 04, 2008

Dark night

WMC-TV Memphis is reporting that actor Morgan Freeman has been hospitalized after a "serious" car accident. And while the entire staff here at Martians Attacking Indianapolis wishes Mr. Freeman a speedy recovery, we hesitate to completely believe the article.

There's just one detail in this story that, well, creates doubt. See if you can spot it:

MEMPHIS, TN (WMC-TV) - Academy Award winning actor Morgan Freeman was involved in a serious car accident Sunday night in north Mississippi.

Mississippi Highway Patrol spokesperson Ben Williams said Freeman and a female passenger were traveling eastbound on Mississippi Highway 32 in Tallahatchie County when his vehicle went off the edge of the road. Freeman overcorrected, flipping his 1997 Nissan Maxima several times before coming to a rest.

Emergency crews extracted Freeman and his passenger from their vehicle using the jaws of life. They were then both airlifted to the Regional Medical Center in Memphis, where Freeman was listed in serious condition Monday morning.

The condition of Freeman's passenger has not been released.

Freeman, who won an Academy Award for his performance in 2004's
Million Dollar Baby, is a co-owner of the Ground Zero Blues Club in Memphis.

Did you catch it?