Friday, March 20, 2009

04.23.10


You know Ronnie would be involved if he were still around.

My God, over a year away.

Lionsgate has just declared April 23, 2010 as the day we get facials of wet awesome. The day our guts explode with camouflage confetti. The day Fate looks us in the eye and calls us a pussy, and we just nod.

The day Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables hits theaters.

Of course I need not refresh your memory because, like me, you've all fashioned countless notebooks of sketches and descriptions of what you think eventual scenes could be like. But just for fun: Stallone, writing, directing and starring. Mickey Rourke. Dolph Lundgren. Jet Li. Jason Statham. Danny Trejo. Eric Roberts. Arnold freakin' Schwarzenegger. Forest Whitaker. Um, 50 Cent. (Yeah, Whitaker had to drop out, and was replaced by 50 Cent. So there's that.)

Honestly, I'm a little nervous about going into cardiac arrest over the trailer. I have no idea how I'm going to survive to see the closing credits.

Oh, and Iron Man 2 is scheduled to open just 14 days later. I'm assuming they'll now move the Robert Downey, Jr. flick because, obviously, everybody will be seeing The Expendables again that weekend.

(By the way, I haven't even mentioned that Stallone has confirmed Rambo V, and Rourke is apparently in talks to play the villain. I can't handle that right now).

Sunday edit: Apparently 50 Cent is out. Darn. Instead, the role of "Hale Caesar" (awesome) will be played by the all-around kick-ass Terry Crews. You may not know his name, but you - well, you may not know his face either. But he has already cemented his place in film history by playing President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho in Idiocracy.

4 comments:

Megs said...

I read today on imdb that Stallone tried to get Kurt Russell for the movie but Russell's agent wanted the request in writing, and then turned it down because it was an "ensemble" film. Talk about asshattery!

Megs said...

Which begs the question, by the way: Which ensemble films of the past would you have felt like a complete asshat to have turned down?

Megs said...

Which begs the question, by the way: Which ensemble films of the past would you have felt like a complete asshat to have turned down?

Josh M. said...

I actually wrote about this - wow, almost four years ago. While the sets of the Ocean's movies must have been fun, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall on the Cannonball Run II set. That must have been a PARTY - I'm surprised they even got a movie made. Check that cast out. I'm still amazed there is a movie out there with Frank Sinatra and Jackie Chan in it.