Friday, May 15, 2009

Lost spoilers! Heed the warni - screw it, KATE DIED!!!

Ok, Kate didn't really die. I don't think.

Beyond saying it was frustrating yet excellent, or excellent yet frustrating, I'm not going to spend any time here digesting Wednesday's season finale. There are plenty of sites to get your dork on about "Lost," and plus, I don't want to lose The Fiancee as a regular reader.

I'm really just wondering where the hell my island invitation is.

The episode finally introduced Jacob - a sandy-haired, zen surfer type - and revealed that all of our favorite castaways had run-ins with him in the past. Jack met him at the hospital, Sayid met him on a sidewalk - and Sawyer and Kate met him as children. This last part is what I want to focus on.

Because you know who else met Jacob as a child? ME.

Recognize this little classic?

Follow the arrow. As previous discussed in these pixels, that's a 12-year-old me in the 1989 Hulk Hogan classic No Holds Barred. (And yes, my sister looking like a Down's baby at lower left).

I played Johnny, a scrappy kid from the wrong side of the tracks who had been arrested scoring hooch for his old man. After spending his 10th birthday in a juvenile detention center, Johnny had been released, only to find his father dead, and his mother remarried to an abusive Pakistani. Even at his young age, the boy knew the smell of anger, the taste of hate, and he had to abandon his family in the search for something greater. That path had taken him to a roadside tomato stand in Pikeville, Arkansas, where a kindly old man took him in. Experiencing kindness for the first time in his existence, Johnny immediately became accustomed to that lifestyle - and barely questioned it when the old man began touching him. Down there. The confusion grew within him - he would stare for hours at the navy blue lines on his mattress and think of his old dog, Punkin. After a few months, he hid a straight razor up his sleeve, and one evening made a straight slice across the man's neck, damn near ruining the mashed potatoes in the process. It was to the road again, the lonely highway, where Johnny held odd jobs. He liked the reptile farms best, but obviously couldn't stay one place very long. The same questions would arise: Where's your momma? Who takes care of you? Why are you cutting yourself? His life changed forever one July day, when he stumbled onto a carnival for kids held by professional wrestler Rip. He blended into the crowd, picking wallets from unsuspecting adults, and forming what would become a decades long cocaine addiction with some carnies behind a trailer. But between rails he met Darla, a redhead beauty from Opalika, a woman who would clutch his heart and never let go. Until the blood rushed from her brain six months later, him clutching her in one arm and the paperweight in the other.

Of course, in the actual movie, I didn't have any lines, and only that one scene. But a great actor is always prepared, and I knew how the role should be played. I think the character's history is readily apparent in the final film.

But I digress. My point: yes, I also met Jacob as a child. Because guess who was standing about five feet to my left when that photo was taken?

Yep, it's the same guy:

On one of his many sojourns from the island, Jacob had apparently found time to support his pro wrestler brother. And I specifically remember talking to this guy that day, if only because he was the only paid actor not even remotely famous, without a trailer to hide in like Hogan.

So what the hell? Why didn't fate call me to Oceanic 815? Or at least the lesser, ghetto Ajira 316?



Krista said...

GREAT. I am now MORE famous for knowing you.

Carrie said...

Seriously that is one of the coolest things ever! I'm jealous.