Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Sucker punch



Oh Mr. Stallone, how you toy with my emotions.

Two days after the glorious, world-altering Rambo V announcement, Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables has been delayed from April 23rd to August 20th, 2010. (If you're unfamiliar with the film, punch yourself in the vag and read here, here, here and here.)

According to Variety, we pretty much have the irritatingly-titled-due-to-my-spelling-OCD Inglourious Basterds to thank for this. Quentin Tarantino's film proved a blood-drenched, male-driven action flick could thrive in the late summer, so Lionsgate decid - FUCK YOU, TARANTINO! DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I HATE YOUR FACE!

Or maybe the delay will allow Stallone to make the film a little bit better, who knows? Like Michelangelo could have finished the Sistine Chapel and then the church dude was like, hey man, we're not having mass for three more weeks, and Michelangelo was like, ok, I guess I can add some blue over there, and now people are like, man, the use of blue right there is genius. So maybe that can happen to The Expendables.

Silver linings, man.

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